If I Were A Terrorist…

July 11, 2007

I would kidnap Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.  Then I would take them to some camp in Pakistan for intensive brainwashing, waiting for the Stockholm Syndrome to set in.  Then, have them resurface, call for the media, and voila, the world can be treated to a sight of Hilton and Lohan in a burqa, demure and virtuous as Islamic women are supposed to be, decrying the corrupt culture of the West.

“I was so lost in the decadent culture of Jew-dominated Hollywood,” they would cry.  “You all know how bad I was — drinking every night, whoring myself to various men, behaving like no proper woman should.  Thank Allah that <insert terror group name here> interceded and rescued me from my life of shame and self-destruction.”

Not only would my terror organization instantly rocket up the charts of popularity on the so-called “Arab Street”, but quite a few Americans would start to think, “Hey, you know… those guys can’t be all bad if they finally turned Paris and Lindsay around….”

-TS

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Quote of the Moment

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." ---C.S. Lewis

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